Is the very act of reading an article about how to be authentic in and of itself inauthentic? The topic of authenticity is likely discussed in counseling sessions but rarely discussed related to the workplace. However, we live in an era where social media has perpetuated the need to showcase an idyllic life, in a time where a news story breaks every few minutes that erodes the reputation of highly powerful individuals we once trusted, and in which old friends want to reconnect ultimately to try to get you in their downline of their newest multi-level marketing.
It is fair to say that most people have a heightened sense of skepticism. It is also fair to say that in the face of that skepticism, most people crave an era of authenticity more than ever before. This is not limited to life outside of the workplace; many articles have been written about the importance of the boss-employee relationship and how the lack thereof is one of the largest contributors to turnover within an organization.
Many of these suggestions may simply serve as a reminder of best practices you already know, though common sense is not always common practice. Knowing and doing are not necessarily the same; you may know much of what is listed, but it’s the doing that makes the difference.
Intent
To learn how to be authentic, or to react authentically, treat authenticity as something we have instead of something we are. As complicated as that sounds, it is actually quite simple. In the perceived nature of human interaction, there is an element of intent that cannot be dismissed. As a leader, having an employee’s best interest at heart is not something that should be overlooked. If you think about it, the phrase “constructive criticism” is an oxymoron. Coaching is an opportunity to contribute to another person’s development; it is a two-way partnership where both parties share knowledge and experiences in order to maximize the person’s potential and help them achieve their goals. Instead of considering criticism as something negative, consider this context: “As your leader, I am fully committed to your performance and to your success. My intent behind sharing with you this feedback is to provide information about your performance that I believe will have a profoundly positive impact on your ability to succeed.”
Thus, constructive criticism is instead constructive feedback. Feedback about a performance deficiency does not have to be any less positive than reinforcing proficient capabilities. To a certain extent, Zig Zigler’s famous quote that “you will get all you want in life, if you help enough other people get what they want,” is incorrect. If the reason you want something from others is because it will benefit you, that is inauthentic behavior that few will trust. If your intent is to genuinely serve those around you, you have begun to create an era of authenticity.
“Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.”
– Stephen Covey
The Law of Attraction
Part of the importance of authenticity in the workplace is to serve the relationships of the existing team. How genuine interactions can influence the interviewing process is also important to consider. Reflect upon some of the most authentic personal connections or experiences that stand out in your life. It may be that you can only think of a handful but those likely stand out as being extraordinary. You feel moved by authentic people and are attracted to them. Similarly, you feel attractive when you are being authentic, and when you connect with someone who is authentically engaging. When you really connect during an interview with a candidate, what you usually are saying is that you encountered a rare moment of mutual authenticity.
In an interview, genuine connections can be tough. As recruiters, we certainly understand three of the core functions of an interview are to assess if a candidate has the core capabilities to perform in the role, if you will enjoy working with them, and if they are genuinely excited about the opportunity. However, if everyone has their game faces on and are trying to deliver the answers the other party wants to hear, how do you balance selling with a true connection? Remember, whether obvious or not, people sniff out inauthentic behavior. Use the interview to screen one another. But if we go back to the importance of intent, help a candidate understand how as their leader, you have the ability to help them uncover who they have yet to become. Even having an open discussion about mistakes and failures can be uncomfortably refreshing. Mistakes do not define an individual, nor do they define who that individual has the potential to become.
Start Simple
So if authenticity is something we all want, but it’s something you are and not something you get, then authenticity must be impossible to teach, right? This is likely true and quite a paradox. Therefore, let’s start simple. Decide to stop being inauthentic. Catch yourself when you make a false compliment and try to offer up a genuine one instead. Recognize when you offer up a canned, knee-jerk response to a question and try to express an answer more firmly rooted in reality. Remove the hollow statements, the feigned interest, and the formulaic answers.
There are two most common scenarios in which colleagues pick up on inauthentic conversations. The first is the small talk; those situations in which you are grasping for something to say in order to avoid awkward silence. This does not mean that you need to ask deeply meaningful questions while collectively waiting for the elevator, but it is worth evaluating the types of discussions you engage in during those encounters. The second are in more formal settings such as important meetings or professional reviews. Corporate jargon is often used to either avoid conflict or as assert a sense of being in control. Instead, work on asking purposeful questions, perfecting your active listening skills, and delivering a professional recommendation that better represents who you are and what you believe. If you truly believe in what you say and the intent behind why you are saying it, others will as well.
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